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Dakaimoto
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| Statistics | | Normal | Inebriated |
| Deviousness |    | 99 | - |
| Intelligence | | 80 | -15 |
| Swilling Capacity | | 90 | - |
| Fire Breathing | | 90 | - |
| Baldness | | 100 | - |
| Lechery | | 150 | 1000 |
| Bacon Points | | 100 | - |
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| Height: | Not much |
| Weight: | I really hate to wait, it just makes me impatient and irritable. |
| Favorite Food: | A nice venison tenerdloin marinated in a balsamic vinagrette seared in a delicate scallion butter, dressed with arugula, served with a side of polenta and sun dried to-mah-to. |
| Favorite Implement of Destruction: | Vodka Gimlet |
| Quote: | "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth...DAMN! Look at the hooters on that one!" |
| Nickname: | Dak |
| Bio: | |
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