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Sor the Slow
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| Statistics | | Normal | Inebriated |
| Strength |    | 1000 | 2000 |
| Intelligence | | 2 | 3 |
| Deviousness | | 70 | 100 |
| Swilling Capacity | | 100 | 200 |
| Rhythm | | 2 | 1 |
| Web Development | | 1000 | - |
| Bacon Points | | 500 | - |
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| Height: | 21 Hands |
| Weight: | 21.4 Stones |
| Favorite Food: | Eggs, Rum, Bacon |
| Favorite Implement of Destruction: | Pole Axe, Forehead, telnet client. |
| Quote: | "I likes eggs" |
| Nickname: | Captain Smackdown, Dana, "Get off my foot you big fuckin' mule!!" |
| Bio: | |
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